Analog Community, Part 4
Victory Life Church — Sunday, September 7, 2025
Part 4: “The Discipleship Invitation”
Link to a downloadable PDF:
Analog Community, Part 4
Scripture Reading
Ephesians 4:24–32 (NLT) 24 Put on your new nature, created to be like God—truly righteous and holy. 25 So stop telling lies. Let us tell our neighbors the truth, for we are all parts of the same body. 26 And “don’t sin by letting anger control you.” Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, 27 for anger gives a foothold to the devil. 28 If you are a thief, quit stealing. Instead, use your hands for good hard work, and then give generously to others in need. 29 Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them. 30 And do not bring sorrow to God’s Holy Spirit by the way you live. Remember, he has identified you as his own, guaranteeing that you will be saved on the day of redemption. 31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. 32 Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.
Introduction
Part of what it means to be human (Genesis 2:18), and part of what it means to be the church (1 Corinthians 12:18-20), is to belong in community with others.
God considers belonging in community to be essential.
Why do we consider optional what God considers to be essential?
This is what we have been talking about: belonging, and specifically belonging to an analog community, a community of real relationships with real people and being connected within real spaces. This is what we have been elaborating on: “Analog Community,” meaning not allowing digital connectivity to be a substitute for real relationships in real life. This is the kind of church we want to be: an analog community of belonging.
Belonging to an Analog Community: cultivating real relationships with real people in real spaces.
Regardless of our current level of “belonging” within the church, the reason why this matters so much is that whoever you find to be “your people” will transform you the most:
Our strongest sense of belonging will have the greatest transformative effect on us.
We all need to belong to a community. It’s something we all search for, trying to find that sense in many different places and people. As it relates to discipleship, the community to which we belong the most will have the most significant effect on who we are becoming.
My hope for our church is that your belonging in this community would deepen your discipleship to Jesus the most.
“Our brains draw life from our strongest relational attachments to grow our character and develop our identity. Who we love shapes who we are.” ~ Michel Hendricks
However, feeling a strong sense of belonging is not as simple as feeling like you “fit in” or you don’t. So many churches, ours included, have tried everything possible to move people from just attending on a Sunday, as important as that is, to belonging to a small group, in the hopes that relationships get forged that lead to transformation and a strong sense of belonging, that clear sense of finding “my people.”
“Belonging” is not one-dimensional.
Our sense of belonging is connected to four specific spaces. The church is called to cultivate belonging in each of these four spaces (one body), and each of us is called to engage in each of these spaces (many members).
Romans 12:4-5 (NLT) Just as our bodies have many parts and each part has a special function, so it is with Christ’s body. We are many parts of one body, and we all belong to each other.
We cannot expect to be discipled in only one or two of these spaces, because belonging to community exists beyond one or two, but in all four. God works within the relationships cultivated in each space, and we are called to take personal responsibility and have the courage to get out of our comfort zone and develop that sense of belonging in each space.
Reviewing the Four Spaces
Four Spaces of Belonging
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- Public: 100+ people
- Social: 20–70 people
- Personal: 5–12 people
- Transparent: 2–4 people
In all four spaces, we form connections with others and find these connections to be significant; in each space, we participate and are committed in some way.
These meaningful and significant connections with real people, and our commitment and participation in each of these real spaces, constitute our sense of belonging. It is not simply the number of friends or intimate relationships we have that constitutes this. It’s connecting with real people in all four spaces that we need to have that sense of belonging that is essential to us being fully human as God intended. For the church to be who God has made us to be, we are responsible for cultivating this sense of belonging in each of these spaces.
“True belonging is accomplished through the significant relationships we embrace in all four spaces.”
The primary relationship we all must cultivate is our relationship with God. It is this relationship that acts as the foundation of all transformation and should be the foundation of all other relationships. God considers community to be essential, but not at the expense of a relationship with Him. God’s direct and personal interactions with us at the one-on-one level are the most powerful encounters we can have in life. Our discipleship to Jesus originates with simply being with him, alone and intentionally. Our face-to-face relationship with our loving Creator and Redeemer acts as the bedrock for all our lives.
Our communion with God equips us to engage more fruitfully in each of these four spaces of belonging.
The biggest key is our relationship with the Holy Spirit — our presence is the extension of His Presence. You show up in these spaces as a temple of the Holy Spirit (1 Corinthians 6:20). Because of this, it is not acceptable for a follower of Jesus to use comfort zone or personality as an excuse not to obey the Lord’s commands and leadership.
Grow in the spaces where you are strong, and stretch in the spaces where you are weak.
2 Corinthians 12:9 (NLT)9 Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me.
Our discipleship in how we belong in an analog community is ultimately how we develop intimacy with Jesus. In the spaces where we are strong, we lean into his grace to grow more present and strong in our belonging, creating a sense of belonging for others. In the spaces where we are weak, we refuse to hide or shrink back, but we come boldly to the throne of grace (Hebrews 4:16) to access Jesus’ strength to operate in the spaces where we would rather avoid.
Discipleship Invitations
- Public Space [ Public Space Image ]
Public Space Discipleship Invitation: Commit and Engage
Hebrews 10:24–25 (NLT)24 Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works. 25 And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of his return is drawing near.
Whatever your current level of commitment, what would it look like to strengthen it a little bit more?
In the space in between: start meeting people (one conversation at a time)
Acts 2:46-47 (NLT) 46 They worshiped together at the Temple each day, met in homes for the Lord’s Supper, and shared their meals with great joy and generosity—47 all the while praising God and enjoying the goodwill of all the people. And each day the Lord added to their fellowship those who were being saved.
Start with “one another” within the church community. Genuine hospitality became a way for the church to both get stronger and grow.
- Social Space [ Social Space Image ]
Social Space Focus: Sharing “snapshots” that build affinity
Social Space Discipleship Invitation: Practice Conversational Hospitality
Romans 12:13b (NLT)13b Always be eager to practice hospitality.
The objective within this space is not to change people, but to get to know them and to love them well. (Even if only for a short period of time)
“Hospitality means primarily the creation of a free space where the stranger can enter and become a friend instead of an enemy. Hospitality is not to change people but to offer them space where change can take place.” ~ Henri Nouwen
Romans 15:7 (ESV) Therefore welcome one another as Christ has welcomed you, for the glory of God.
The Social space does not mean to live without boundaries. Boundaries are ok. But boundaries are also not idols, walls we build up to protect our comfort zone.
Boundaries are good, but should not be idols.
In this space, connections get made. You connect with people personally, and you also help bring others together. These connections get made as you continue to share snapshots of your life with others, and you discover more and more snapshots of other people’s lives.
In the space in between: extend the conversation
Social Space Discipleship Invitation: Practice Conversational Hospitality
The deepest needs of the human heart are to be loved, to be known, and to be needed. Feeling “known” means being heard and understood, and feeling connected to someone. Most people do not feel cared about or fully heard, so they tend to either isolate and hide or talk excessively and listen poorly.
Conversational hospitality is learning how to listen well to others.
One of the most impactful ways we show conversational hospitality is by helping meet those deep needs in others of being known and understood, which is listening well to one another.
There is a difference between listening and tolerating the other person talking.
Listening is an underrated skill. Simply put, you have to put the effort into listening if you want to nurture a connected relationship. This requires work and patience to improve this skill. It also requires you to “unhurry” yourselves when it comes to meaningful conversations.
James 1:19 (NLT) Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.
Listening actively means that you are not a passive hearer, disengaged, only “tolerating the other person talking.” We have to be willing to look beyond just the surface level of communication, just quickly exchanging words. The skill of listening actively may take time to build if you are poor at it. But we are called to lean into the grace of Jesus when we are weak.
To the talkers in the room, it’s okay that you tend to use a lot of words. But to maintain a healthy and strong relationship, equal effort will be needed to listen as well as speak. To the quiet ones in the room, being quiet doesn’t automatically mean you are a good listener. You can grow in your listening skills, but for a relationship to grow stronger, you also have to be willing to communicate in such a way that you are understood as well.
Each conversation is unique, and the context of the conversation matters. The Social Space can be for simply exchanging information, revealing only small snapshots of your life and identity, or it can be merely a shallow relational touchpoint. However, the focus here is on the relationships that we want to build stronger, deeper, and healthier; the Personal relationships that mean something in our lives. In this context, there are at least three main ways we listen in conversation. These are like levels or gears.
Listening to Respond
At this level, or in this gear, the attention very much remains on you, as the listener. “How does this affect me?” is the question that is maintained in your mind. In this gear, you are just listening to what’s “wrong” and what needs fixing, especially if you think it is the other person.
Listening to respond “grinds” the relational engine if kept in this gear too long.
Proverbs 18:13 (GW) Whoever gives an answer before he listens is stupid and shameful.
Proverbs 18:13 (MSG) Answering before listening is both stupid and rude.
When you are just listening to respond, you’re more focused on what you want to say or winning your point. In this mode of listening, you are contributing almost nothing to the health of the relationship. The relationship does not become stronger or healthier simply by listening to respond to what is said. It requires no humility, offers little challenge to our pride, and is not an act of service when we listen to someone in this manner. It’s not that you have nothing to say in a conversation, but simply listening in this gear will not make for strong relationships.
Listening to Understand
At this level or gear, you are listening for possibilities, remaining open to new ideas and perspectives. In an exercise of humility, you are not assuming you have superior knowledge or understanding in the conversation; you stay open to learning something new, whether something new about the subject or something new about the person speaking. The attention is on the other person, which is exercising humility in love and care for them, and you are listening for deeper meaning, wants, and needs that are in them.
Proverbs 18:2 (NLT) Fools have no interest in understanding; they only want to air their own opinions.
When we listen to understand, we are willing to hold our attachments or our judgments very loosely. We have to be mindful of the chatter that happens in between our ears when we are listening to what someone is saying.
Proverbs 18:15 (NLT) Intelligent people are always ready to learn. Their ears are open for knowledge.
Tips for “Listening to Understand”:
Ask open-ended questions
Ask clarifying questions
Avoid listening autobiographically
Listen with “Curiosity, Care, & Concern”
Correction may be necessary, but only after you have a sense of understanding of the person first, and even then, you will need to listen at a deeper level if correction is ever to be effective.
- Personal Space — Discipleship Invitation: Listen to Connect
Ephesians 4:29–32 (NLT) 29 Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them. 30 And do not bring sorrow to God’s Holy Spirit by the way you live. Remember, he has identified you as his own, guaranteeing that you will be saved on the day of redemption. 31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. 32 Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.
Listening to Connect
The ultimate goal of our listening is to have a real and genuine connection with the person speaking. Strong and healthy relationships are based on the level of connection you have with that person. Humbly listening contributes significantly to the level of connection you have at the heart level.
Listening for the heart, not just to the words, creates safety in the conversation.
We must learn to listen for what the other person is trying to say, listening to the heart, not just the words. And when you both can put your heart into the conversation, you each need to treat it as something precious. Safety in the conversation is vital for there to be a deep connection in conversation. Strong and healthy relationships should be a safe place to open your heart. Treat the opening of our hearts with tender care. Make it safe for the other person to open their heart for you by listening deeply for connection.
Strong and healthy personal relationships should be a safe place to open your heart, so treat the opening of our hearts with tender care.
Tips for “Listening to Connect”:
Maintain good eye contact and a relaxed posture
Be authentically interested
Go through the doors that they open
Listen to the person speaking, not just the words being used
Listen to what is being said as well as what is not being said
Use silence well to build trust and allow the other person to be vulnerable
In the space in between: take small steps of vulnerability
Conclusion
Micah shared our discipleship invitation within the Transparent Space last week. In the conclusion of this series today, I want to reinforce our desire to be a church that is a strong, analog community with an effective sense of belonging for people to live in real relationships in all four of these real spaces.
Belonging to an Analog Community: cultivating real relationships with real people in real spaces.
If we become a strong, analog community, it will have a powerful transformative effect on our lives and our communities, where digital substitutes have caused corrosion to the sense of community, and the enemy has wreaked havoc on family and community relationships. The church is to be an alternative community to the culture that has lost its way in real relationships.
Citaions and Read More
Michel Hendricks and Jim Wilder. The Other Half of the Church. p. 76
The original idea of spaces correlating with relationships came from sociologist Edward T. Hall in the 1960s. He coined this in the term “proxemics” to describe “the interrelated observations and theories of man’s use of space.” The Hidden Dimension. p.1
Henri Nouwen on Hospitality — https://henrinouwen.org/meditations/hospitality-2/