Analog Community, Part 3 “Transparent Relationships”
Victory Life Church — Sunday, August 31, 2025
Link to downloadable PDF:Analog Community – Part 3
Scripture Reading
John 1:1-18 (ESV)
1 In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. 2 He was in the beginning with God. 3 All things were made through him, and without him was not any thing made that was made. 4 In him was life, and the life was the light of men. 5 The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.
6 There was a man sent from God, whose name was John. 7 He came as a witness, to bear witness about the light, that all might believe through him. 8 He was not the light, but came to bear witness about the light.
9 The true light, which gives light to everyone, was coming into the world. 10 He was in the world, and the world was made through him, yet the world did not know him. 11 He came to his own, and his own people did not receive him. 12 But to all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God, 13 who were born, not of blood nor of the will of the flesh nor of the will of man, but of God.
14 And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we have seen his glory, glory as of the only Son from the Father, full of grace and truth. 15 (John bore witness about him, and cried out, “This was he of whom I said, ‘He who comes after me ranks before me, because he was before me.’”) 16 For from his fullness we have all received, grace upon grace. 17 For the law was given through Moses; grace and truth came through Jesus Christ. 18 No one has ever seen God; God the only Son, who is at the Father’s side, he has made him known.
[Campuses joining: ?]
Introduction
Stories of the mysterious, magical power of mom and dad to heal booboos on our 2-year-old. Whether it’s a bonked head or scraped knee, there is something about us just touching it or holding her that seems to make the pain all go away.
This seems to not just be a placebo effect:
Researchers at the University of Virginia exposed women to a small electrical shock under three different circumstances: by themselves, while holding a stranger’s hand, and while holding their spouse’s hand. Monitoring their brain activity, researcher’s found that women experiencing the shock on their own experienced more stress and actual pain compared to those who held the hand of a stranger. And, those who held their partner’s hand experienced even less stress and pain, particularly when they reported higher relational satisfaction overall. The physical, loving presence of another real person actually does make things better, all the way down to our actual experience of physical pain.
Vs 14 – “And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us..”
The fact that God enacted His salvation through embodiment and incarnation is on one hand intuitive to the way that He created us and on the other hand radically scandalous—It is laughable to some and offensive to others, but to us who have come to believe in and experientially know Him, it is the power of God in us (see 1 Corinthians 1:22-25).
This is why we have been talking about real relationships with real people in real places.
Incarnational Love / Analog Community embraces the slow, the “non-efficient”, limitations, and anonymity.
Jesus has invited us to “go and do likewise”, to live in analog community and walk out incarnational love with one another.
Almost all of us who have come to know the love of Christ have done so because of our real experience with one of His real followers, experiencing His love in real relationship.
If it weren’t for real barriers and challenges to this type of community, we would all do it and wouldn’t need encouragement in it, but this type of love requires risk and vulnerability.
John 1:11 (ESV) “11 He came to his own, and his own people did not receive him.”
In the incarnation, Jesus exposed Himself to the risk of rejection by His own creatures.
The potential for pain in a relationship is directly proportional to the closeness and magnitude of the relationship.
““To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.” – C.S. Lewis (The Four Loves)
Risk and Vulnerability in the Transparent Social Space
Avoidance: Can result from consistently feeling like the love we look for is shut off or unavailable. Particularly in childhood, if the ones we needed love from most were consistently not responsive, we learned to “turn inward” and try to meet the need ourselves. We don’t show up for analog community because we don’t believe it can meet our needs like we can meet them ourselves. “I can take care of myself.” A mental image of this would be sitting alone in a hole, nervous to call out for help.
Anxiety: Can result from inconsistent experiences of having our love needs met. Sometimes we feel like people really care and other times we feel like they won’t be there for us. It can create panic and desperation in us, knowing that it feels great to be understood and loved, but unsure about whether or not it will happen. It can lead to blaming others or clinging too tightly in close relationships, not leaving enough breathing room for the love that we’re trying to keep. A mental image of this would be a drowning person, in desperation, pulling under the very person who is there to save them.
“Hold on loosely, but don’t let go (challenge to the avoidant among us). If you cling too tightly, you’re gonna lose control (challenge to the anxious among us).”
We are not just crazy or stubborn when it comes to this difficulty in transparent relationships. These tendencies show up in the very moment that sin enters the human story.
Genesis 3:7-13 (ESV) 7 Then the eyes of both were opened, and they knew that they were naked. And they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves loincloths.
8 And they heard the sound of the Lord God walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and the man and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the Lord God among the trees of the garden. 9 But the Lord God called to the man and said to him, “Where are you?” 10 And he said, “I heard the sound of you in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked, and I hid myself.” 11 He said, “Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten of the tree of which I commanded you not to eat?” 12 The man said, “The woman whom you gave to be with me, she gave me fruit of the tree, and I ate.” 13 Then the Lord God said to the woman, “What is this that you have done?” The woman said, “The serpent deceived me, and I ate.”
The shame of sin immediately led to avoidance (vs 7-8) and anxiety (vs 10-13). We knew that we were not right, and we hid ourselves or criticized and shifted out of fear. Sin (done to us, done by us, and done around us) means that we were born into difficulty when it comes to transparent relationships. These tendencies continue to show up for us today when we make genuine attempts at embodying love and living in analog community. It would be so much easier to hide behind the anonymity and safety of digital community, or to seek out the pseudo-loves that it has to offer.
“The shadow proves the sunshine.” Just like hunger proves the existence of food and thirst the existence of water, this deep pain and longing that we feel proves that there is a great love for us that can satisfy our souls.
The potential for healing in a relationship is directly proportional to the closeness and magnitude of the relationship.
Romans 8:31 (ESV) “31 What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?”
Our relationship with God TRANSFORMS us through His incarnational love. To the avoidant among us, He says “come out” just like He did to Lazarus. To the anxious among us, He says, “Peace, be still” just like He did to the storm.
Matthew 28:20 (ESV) “… And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.”
Closing
Embody the love of the Father to one another by reciting the priestly blessing to the person next to you.
Citations and Read More
Coan, J., Schaefer, H., and Davidson, R. “Lending a Hand.” Psychological Science, 2006, vol. 17, pp. 1-8.
C. S. Lewis, The Four Loves
Lyrics from: “Hold on Loosely” .38 Special
Lyrics from: “The Shadow Proves the Sunshine” Switchfoot