Message Date: January 26, 2025

Longing for Eden, Pt 3: Longing for Connection

Victory Life Church, Central — Sunday, January 26, 2025

Introduction

Have you ever felt really embarrassed? That is shame.

To be human is to crave a sense of meaning—that our lives mean something. We long for life to be in a state of wholeness and peace. We long for Eden, the state where life is in God’s presence, and there is a clear purpose to our work and meaning in our relationships.

The Eden Ideal: to be in an interdependent relationship with God and each other, tasked with the purpose of spreading God’s goodness in caring for and cultivating the garden of Eden into all creation.

The chief end of man is to glorify God and enjoy him forever.

Shame and Community

Genesis 1:26-27 reveals that God made humanity as “male and female, both of whom are made as God’s image and both of whom are commissioned to subdue and rule the earth. As Lucy Peppiatt insists, “It is not satisfactory to have a theology of the imago Dei that is solely applicable to individuals or to individuals alone in their relation to God without an understanding of what this means for human beings in community.” “Together we are God’s image. God designed men and women to provide companionship to each other and work side by side in the world.”

Genesis 3:7 (NLT) At that moment their eyes were opened, and they suddenly felt shame at their nakedness. So they sewed fig leaves together to cover themselves.

This effect of sin (shame) is built on the previous statements made about humanity.

Genesis 1:27 (ESV) So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.

Humans were not made to image God alone or live in isolation.

Genesis 2:18 (NLT) Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.”

Our task of spreading God’s goodness in caring for and cultivating the Garden of Eden into all of creation is a task meant for us together, an interconnected relationship with God and each other. This is why we long for connection and need others for meaning and purpose.

“No one person can fulfill God’s purposes alone—we need each other. Our identity is defined in community. The task of dominion belongs to the entire species.” ~ Carmen Joy Imes

“Our brains were designed to respond to group identity in order to help us act like ‘our people.’ Our right brain contains the control center that interprets our group identity and uses it to shape our inner character. The orbital prefrontal cortex (on the right side of our brain behind the eye) is dominant for integrating my current situation in life with who I am—in real time. Every one-sixth of a second our right brain tries to answer the questions, ‘Who am I? How do my people act now?’” ~ Michel Hendricks

Genesis 3:7 (NLT) At that moment their eyes were opened, and they suddenly felt shame at their nakedness. So they sewed fig leaves together to cover themselves.

This is a breaking of a core ingredient to our sense of meaning, identity, and purpose. Our relationship with one another, our community, and our sense of who we are within the context of our community, “our people,” is fractured and broken. Our connection with each other as fellow image-bears is broken, and shame emerges in its place. Humanity’s immediate response was to hide and cover-up. This is what unhealthy shame does; we internalize the lie that we are unsafe and unworthy of love and connection. But that longing for connection with each other was never lost; it drives so much of our lives today.

Grace and Community

Grace—the unconditional love and acceptance of God—offers a radical counter to the debilitating effects of toxic shame. Grace invites us to experience the love of God manifested in Jesus’ forgiveness, acceptance, and transformation.

Galatians 4:4–7 (ESV) 4 But when the fullness of time had come, God sent forth his Son, born of woman, born under the law, 5 to redeem those who were under the law, so that we might receive adoption as sons. 6 And because you are sons, God has sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, crying, “Abba! Father!” 7 So you are no longer a slave, but a son, and if a son, then an heir through God.

Because of Jesus, we come to understand that we are loved despite our flaws, and this knowledge can begin to heal the wounds of shame. Because of his redemption, we are restored to the family of God. In Christ, our identity is not a “sinner” but a son or daughter. We are not worthless or irredeemable. Jesus has redeemed and restored our identity: son and daughter.

This is the foundational understanding of what it means to be in God’s family. This restoration is not exclusively between God and us; it is a restoration of our relationship with each other. Being in God’s family is not just for individual restoration, but our identity is now something we share in together.

“Our brains draw life from our strongest relational attachments to grow our character and develop our identity. Who we love shapes who we are.” ~ Michel Hendricks

Toxic shame would lie to us, saying that we are irredeemable or beyond the possibility of love and acceptance. Because we have been redeemed and restored by Jesus, we extend that love and grace to each other as part of the healing process from the damaging effects of unhealthy shame.

Love and Community

John 13:34–35 (ESV) ³⁴“A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. ³⁵ By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”

In the same way Jesus loved us, we are to love each other. He loved us despite our flaws, and we can do the same. This is what it means to be God’s family for the sake of each other. Community is a core part of the healing process for shame. Grace is often most powerfully experienced within relationships where people accept one another despite their imperfections.

Romans 12:9–13 (NLT) ⁹ Don’t just pretend to love others. Really love them… ¹⁰ Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other…¹³ When God’s people are in need, be ready to help them. Always be eager to practice hospitality.

A 2019 study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships found that “higher social media usage” is linked to “lower relationship satisfaction” and greater levels of jealousy.

- Journal of Social and Personal Relationships (2019): “higher social media usage” is linked to “lower relationship satisfaction”

A 2018 survey conducted by the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers reported that “social media” was a factor in “1 in 3 divorces,” with many citing evidence of cheating or emotional distance.

- American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers (2018): “social media” was a factor in “1 in 3 divorces”

A 2018 study in the Psychology of Popular Media Culture found that “higher screen time” negatively affects communication patterns and “relationship quality.” Couples who spent “more than 4 hours” a day in front of screens (phones, TV, computer) were significantly less satisfied with their relationships.

- Psychology of Popular Media Culture (2018): “higher screen time” negatively affects communication patterns and “relationship quality.”

Research from the Pew Research Center (2018) revealed that “29%” of people in relationships felt their partner preferred texting over talking in person, leading to misunderstandings and emotional disconnection.

- Pew Research Center (2018) “29%” of people in relationships felt their partner preferred texting over talking in person

Do not expect technology to do what only a relationship with God and a community of God’s people provide for our sense of purpose and meaning.

Belonging to a community with God’s people, a church of worship and God’s presence, is, in part, how we find our way back to Eden.

Conclusion

1 Peter 4:8–9 (ESV)⁸ Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins. ⁹ Show hospitality to one another without grumbling.

“No person is excluded from this status as God’s image, and no one person can fulfill the associated tasks on their own. None of us has to do it all. To fulfill God’s commission, we need each other.”

We long for Eden, we long for communion with God and community with God’s people. Jesus calls us to surrender our lives to Him and love one another as God’s family.